I'm just a guy who is insecure about his...fetish.
I'll give you a few hints to what it is.
It's not shit,
It's what you use everyday,
In an R.E.M. song title is one thing you do with them and then "just face north."
It's the most common fetish in the world.
The R.E.M. thing should pretty much give it away. It's not that much of a stretch (I think).
Well if you figure it out maybe I might answer your questions about it...